I was recently talking with a couple of friends about the process of moving their daughters into apartments at college. One of them was proud of the thrift store furniture they found—used but nice and clean, and a great deal. The other went out and bought all new furniture to stock the apartment from scratch. Both of my friends are in the same social class, and both love their children greatly, but they had very different views on the starting point for their kids as they head out into the world.
This conversation got me thinking about the idea of not starting where your parents are today. It’s easy to compare our beginnings to the current situation of those who raised us, but that comparison misses an essential point: our parents often worked incredibly hard to get to where they are now. We shouldn’t expect to begin at the finish line of someone else’s race.
My parents worked tirelessly throughout my youth to provide a fantastic childhood for me, my two brothers, and several other children who needed a foster family until a permanent solution could be found. Alongside their farming duties, they also put in full-time jobs. They started with a very modest home, elevated it through sweat equity, sold it, and repeated the process through four tiers of evolution that has led to their current nice home. Neither of them was armed with more than a high school diploma, but they found a way to make it work and ensured that we had the opportunity to go to college. They taught us to love Jesus, to be brutally honest, to work hard, and to manage our resources well.
Thinking back on those days, I realize how much my parents sacrificed and how much they accomplished through sheer hard work and determination. Despite starting with little, they built a life that has provided me and my siblings with more than we deserved. But here’s the key: they didn’t start where they are now, and neither did we.
Michelle and I bought our first home in 2006—a 3-bedroom, 1,800-square-foot house that we purchased for $25,000. It wasn’t $25k because the market was cheap; it was that price because it needed a lot of work. Both of our parents instilled the value of sweat equity in us, so we budgeted, saved, and put in the effort to make it a home. It wasn’t perfect, but it was ours, and we were thankful for it as its value grew over time. It’s easy to look at where our parents are now and feel like we should be at the same place, but that’s not how life works.
The same holds true in our careers. We often look at successful people and wish we could be at their level of success right away. But we forget the long hours, the failures, and the countless sacrifices they made to get there. Success is a journey, not a destination, and it’s unrealistic to think we should start at the end of someone else’s story.
There’s a valuable lesson here: Appreciate your starting point, however humble it may be. Understand that building something meaningful takes time, effort, and patience. It’s okay to start small. In fact, starting small can teach you invaluable lessons about perseverance, resourcefulness, and gratitude.
So, here’s the central point: We shouldn’t start where our parents are today. If we’re blessed (as I am), then we may start in a better position than they did, but that doesn’t mean we should expect to be equal to their current position right away. It’s a process, and the journey itself is what builds character, resilience, and wisdom.
That Leads Me to This Week’s Challenge… Take a moment to reflect on where you are right now in your life or career. Think about the journey that brought you here, and appreciate the steps you’ve taken, no matter how small they may seem. If you’re tempted to compare your beginning to someone else’s middle or end, remember that everyone’s path is different. Embrace your own starting point, put in the work, and have faith that your journey will take you where you’re meant to go.
I’m thankful you took the time to read this, for choosing to work, and for being a part of what makes this world amazing.
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